What happened to the plan?

What happened to my plan? It was all so clear. Have a biological child, adopt a child and then continue to have more biological children. Our journey leading us to Andrey was full of adventure and challenge and I proudly wrote about our updates in a very special blog made for us. I find myself back here writing again (a new blog) and realizing how life's plans can be unexpected. It's baffled my mind actually and the last year i've allowed myself to grieve and to accept that we are not having more biological children. As you remember, we didn't adopt Andrey because we were infertile, we felt a true call. After we brought Andrey home we became pregnant 3 times very easily and none of the pregnancies lasted. I was very strong after each miscarriage just focusing on that the next pregnancy would be the one that made it. Well, it was not to be...a specialist told us that it was my age (eggs) and that after i gave birth to Thomas my eggs rapidly declined. Hmmmm....i can remember when the doctor said that it was as if my heart was stabbed...my worst fear happened, i ran out of time to have more kids. Of course we could keep trying and keep suffering but Greg and I decided no, not good for my health and for the sake of our family and mental health. I had 2 ways to make sense of the situation - being angry at God for saying yes to His call and then running out my biological clock OR believing that we were not meant to have another biological child after Thomas and that there must be another child who needs us. Another adoption. It took us a year to get to this place where our hearts said yes, lets adopt again. We are not finished with our family! So here we are, signed up with an agency/attorney and waiting to be matched with a baby girl in the US. So many people followed our adoption with Andrey and we were humbled to receive the love and support. I feel that for those who want to share in our next journey, this blog will be the way. When i was suffering miscarriages, i read blog after blog about women experiencing the same trauma and it got me thru it. I feel our story took a real twist and it's interesting to me and if it's interesting to you we'd love for you to see how this next Dini adoption unfolds. All i know is that my heart heals each day a bit more - with every sweet item of pink clothing we receive, and with each look at the nursery set up, i can believe that God has a plan for us.