i was writing to my neighbor jenny who has recently moved out of our neighborhood. She was asking me if there was a certain baby coming or was i just speaking in general. While i was thinking that there is no specific baby, i am anticipating our new dini baby soon...it dawned on me that this baby girl who is going to be in our family is the reason why we may have not been able to have more biological children. Now you have to be sort of a believing, spiritual person to get that because i do not believe that everything we see with the human eye is all there is. There's so much more and every once in awhile we get a reminder of it...one of the books i was reading called it the thin veil between heaven and earth.. I'm hoping that when this baby girl is in my arms, God speaks to me and tells me that my grief was not for nothing and that we were supposed to adopt this baby girl. I hope more sense will come out of it. I have a hard time believing that my eggs just aged out when all around me are women who are having babies from 36-40! My mom had me at 40 years old!
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