mommy's milk

One of my biggest concerns about adopting an infant was that i would not be able to feed her and that would make me feel so sad. I breastfed thomas minutes after he was born and it was amazing to me that i was keeping my baby alive with milk from me. Besides the bonding and attachment that comes with breastfeeding, i cannot put aside the nutrition it offers. There is nothing that replicates breast milk. Also, i cannot imagine getting up in the middle of the night and warming up a bottle. I never used a bottle with Thomas...i didn't have to, the milk was always available and warm.

Sooooo, i thought about it and was extremely motivated by my friend Anna who adopted an infant and brought in her own milk!! It's called adoptive breastfeeding aka, induced lactation. I figured if she could do it i could do it. I've been following the protocol she used and she's been helping me so much (thanks anna!) It's fairly easy...you take a high progesterone birth control pill so your body thinks your pregnant and then a medication called domperidone... you stop the pill about 5 weeks prior to the adoption and keep on the domperidone and then you pump like crazy! Ok, so i'm really praying that i will have milk for this baby...i hope that my "girls" remember that milk was produced before so maybe it'll happen. I'm so overjoyed that this is even an option for me. I won't miss out on feeding my baby and that means everything to me.

Homestudy visit complete

We completed our homestudy visit today with our adoption social worker. It took about 3 hours. We discussed the questionaires we filled out and she made sure our home meets standards. (like medications being locked up, no ungated bodies of water, etc.) She talks to greg and I individually then as a couple. It was an enjoyable visit as i've learned so much from this woman. She has 2 biological children and 3 adopted. She knows her stuff. She did our post placement visits for Andrey. She writes up a report about us and our home- this is a step that anyone who is adopting thru an agency has to do. It's a fairly easy process. We have completed the necessary paperwork and just waiting to do our cpr/1st aid training and waiting for our FBI clearance. I have to say that after doing an international adoption that this is a breeze. She talked to Andrey about his feelings about having a little sister and he was so sweet....he shows so much excitement. It makes my heart happy that this will be a new season in Andrey's life. Oh, also on an Andrey note...i found out that since we're done with all our post placement visits, that Andrey's "case" is closed. So before that happened i asked if we could send his birthmother a letter and picture of him (i wasn't sure if we could or they even knew where she lives)... i did a short and sweet letter and sent a beautiful picture of Andrey to our adoption agency - they will send it to the facilitator in Russia and see if they can get it to her. It gives me the chills to think that she may hold andrey's picture in her hands! She's always been such a mystery...all i have is a small picture of her and copies of her relinguishment of parental rights docs. I look forward to see if she writes back and sends me a picture.

This is a Domestic Infant Adoption

so we signed up with "Little Angel" Adoptions which is a law firm. They are a husband wife team. She works with helping birth moms who want to entrust their child to adoptive parents or those who just need help (clothes, etc.) Her husband is the attorney and he does the law side of it. So Greg and i have paid a flat fee, put together our "resume" which is a beautiful life book and our picture is on the Little Angel Adoptions website with our "dear birth mother" letter. Any woman who is thinking about giving her baby to adoptive parents, can search the website and pick the parents she wants for her child. I like this because it takes the shame and mystery out of how adoption used to be. It's an "open" adoption in that greg & i will know the birth mother and she will know us but we both agree on how much contact with want with eachother. When a birthmother picks us, we'll meet her or talk on the phone and see if we're a good match. If we are, we wait for her to give birth and we may or may not be invited to the birth, and then the legal paperwork is done and she has 30days to change her mind i believe. Ah yes, there is risk in everything in life. After the paperwork is signed the child is legally ours.

If you want to see our profile you can log onto
http://www.littleangeladoptions.com/ and click on "waiting families" - scroll down and greg and i are at the bottom of the page....you'll see our picture. It's very interesting how this type of adoption works..wanted to share with you.

What happened to the plan?

What happened to my plan? It was all so clear. Have a biological child, adopt a child and then continue to have more biological children. Our journey leading us to Andrey was full of adventure and challenge and I proudly wrote about our updates in a very special blog made for us. I find myself back here writing again (a new blog) and realizing how life's plans can be unexpected. It's baffled my mind actually and the last year i've allowed myself to grieve and to accept that we are not having more biological children. As you remember, we didn't adopt Andrey because we were infertile, we felt a true call. After we brought Andrey home we became pregnant 3 times very easily and none of the pregnancies lasted. I was very strong after each miscarriage just focusing on that the next pregnancy would be the one that made it. Well, it was not to be...a specialist told us that it was my age (eggs) and that after i gave birth to Thomas my eggs rapidly declined. Hmmmm....i can remember when the doctor said that it was as if my heart was stabbed...my worst fear happened, i ran out of time to have more kids. Of course we could keep trying and keep suffering but Greg and I decided no, not good for my health and for the sake of our family and mental health. I had 2 ways to make sense of the situation - being angry at God for saying yes to His call and then running out my biological clock OR believing that we were not meant to have another biological child after Thomas and that there must be another child who needs us. Another adoption. It took us a year to get to this place where our hearts said yes, lets adopt again. We are not finished with our family! So here we are, signed up with an agency/attorney and waiting to be matched with a baby girl in the US. So many people followed our adoption with Andrey and we were humbled to receive the love and support. I feel that for those who want to share in our next journey, this blog will be the way. When i was suffering miscarriages, i read blog after blog about women experiencing the same trauma and it got me thru it. I feel our story took a real twist and it's interesting to me and if it's interesting to you we'd love for you to see how this next Dini adoption unfolds. All i know is that my heart heals each day a bit more - with every sweet item of pink clothing we receive, and with each look at the nursery set up, i can believe that God has a plan for us.