...i've been thinking lately what a great place i'm in. I have 2 children that i'm enjoying each day and a hubby who loves being with us. We are going to add to our family which excites me so much..it's time for a change...lets shake it up a bit and add another member of the family!
I'm very excited to be waiting for "the call" - i think about when and how it will happen..will we have to travel far or near, will greg and i both go or just me..i wonder who the child and mom will be and what this new experience will teach me. Good thing i like surprises!
Thomas starts 1st grade in the fall and Andrey will start Kindergarten. These little guys have brought me so much joy and at the same time, they've really made me doubt my mothering skills. I have had my patience and sanity really put to the test. Hard to explain what 2 little active boys who are only 14 months apart in age can do to a mom. I find that i live each day in a state of different emotions...the morning can go smooth, the afternoon could stink. The car ride to the park can be peaceful...the car ride home could cause me angst to where i must pull over. I was watching the Duggards this morning on TLC and i was thinking that they must have super easy kids because having just 2 really challenges me. At times, i've just started crying from the stress..not knowing what to do in a situation. It doesn't make me not want to have more kids, it just makes me wonder how to make the hard times better. Andrey and i have our ups and downs with feeling close to one another...it seems like we get really close when we have lots of time together and then greg comes home and he forgets me...really, this is not normal - seems he's not capable of feeling close to us at the same time. Anyway..reading to Andrey, playing with him, and taking care of him when he is sick, helps with the bonding. Andrey had a stomach bug for the 1st time and he vomited and it scared the heck out of him. I went into mothering action and helped him for half of the night until he finally fell asleep.. the next morning he said "mommy made me feel better" which is probably the best compliment you can give me.
Oh so love that Andrey verbalized the compliment :) yeah! And thanks for sharing the ups and downs of parenting. I'm assuming (definitely not from experience) that this is a common feel for many moms in raising kids. Just know that God believes in you and Greg - and has entrusted you with these beautiful children. He knows you have it in you and will give you strength,wisdom, and love to keep on going. Praying for more bonding with the boys in different ways for both of you....and for the little sister-to-be. - Lori R
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